The secret language of feelings: a rational approach to mastering emotions by Calvin D. Banyan

Author:Calvin D. Banyan [Banyan, Calvin D.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Personal Growth, Self-Help, Psychology, Emotions, General
ISBN: 9780971229051
Publisher: Hypnosis.org
Published: 2003-01-15T05:00:00+00:00

The Wisdom of Feeling Sad

relationship. In a sense, Mary had not lost just one person when her mother died, but many.

I taught Mary the secret language and gently introduced the idea that when fully understood, the feeling of sadness which she had been experiencing was good in some very specific ways. I explained that once she learned how her sadness was good, she would learn how to do some things that would make her feel better and heal.

From her sessions with me, Mary came to understand that her prolonged sadness over her mother’s death was a result of constantly experiencing loss. Every time she needed a friend, she felt sad because she experienced the loss of a friend. Every time she needed a confidant, she felt sad because she had lost the person who filled that role in her life. Every time she wanted to go shopping or do other activities that she enjoyed, she felt sad because the person she had enjoyed doing those activities with was gone. And whenever she needed a babysitter that she could trust with her children, she was saddened because her mother’s passing had taken that away also.

Once she understood this, Mary also understood that the sadness was there to motivate her to take the actions necessary to find friends who would fill those roles in her life. She needed to become more social and build new and important relationships so that her life could become full and active again. As she realized there were some actions she could take, she began to feel hopeful and her feelings of depression began to fade. With the support of

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